Yesterday, Chuyun bought me a mupcake before we left school. (: Yes, a mupcake.

I'm hungry and I'm eating big, fat hawflakes that are larger than my nose. :D

I feel like talking about food today because I have been trying to save money for the past... while, and thus have not been spending on food that I like, but eating food that's simply palatable. In general, I like salty/sour food, but I've been eating a lot of sweet stuff lately, because I don't think you can find a lot of salty stuff that doesn't give you a sore throat in the long run.

Oh well. I've so far been successful in convincing myself of the fact that it is not worth it to spend money on paltry school food; that I should instead save up and go for the good stuff.

Haircut on Saturday. Whoosh.

I don't know how to start this entry. ._.





Much of my time is spent being at odds with myself over who I want to be. I don't like thinking about such things, but it's quite involuntary.

Sometimes I think I want to be the studious girl who focuses so very much on her school work (read: Mugger), I want to do well and go become the lawyer that 10-year-old me wanted to be. I want to return home right after school every day, plop down and complete my homework with little trouble. Basically, I just want to focus all my energy on Work, the Completion of Work and the Helping of Others Complete Their Work.


(Picture courtesy of: http://www.openeducation.net)

Then there are the days where I just want to be a socialite who parties, clubs and drinks my life away (although I am aware that it is difficult to become such an individual as most people usually just are or are not one). I want to feel myself living life rather than going through the rudimentary path of existing. I want to let loose and do reckless things while on alcoholic high, just so I can tell my kids not to do certain things in the future because I have experienced it, and I know it's crap. I want to have one night stands and wake up in the morning to regret it. I want to know what it feels like to do all these things you only ever hear of in books.


(Image from: http://www.guardian.co.uk)

I must admit that the reason why I don't criticise certain individuals for the choices they make (think: a classmate of ours) is because part of me sincerely envies the characteristic(s) that exist(s) within these individuals that allows them to achieve what they desire.


(Picture from: http://wso.williams.edu)

Don't get me wrong, I don't think that's pretty. I don't think that being thin or showing your ribs, or having no flesh with your skin stuck to your bones is pretty. [Digress: I think she does have a fairly good-looking face though.] I just wish that I had the will-power, the persistence, the drive to work towards something like that. I know that I don't ever have the fortitude required to deprive myself of food such that I can even lose 1 kg, much less 5, or 10.

Most of you will probably think this is seriously out of whack (my logical self does), but half the time, I don't like it when people get anorexic simply because these people are already thin enough. I can put myself on a pedestal, and preach altruistically on the values of eating, but frankly speaking, I just wish these almost stick-thin people wouldn't starve themselves because it makes me (and the rest of the non-thin people) comparatively larger than before. It's selfish, it's almost illogical, but that's how it goes. I just needed to get that out of me.

On an entirely different note, I also want a rabbit.


(Bunny from: http://www.elcivics.com)

There. Can you see why anyone would want a furry, long-eared, waffle-nosed companion? I can. However, my parents do not wish to get me a rabbit, and as of late, I am sorely tempted to obtain one on my own. People get pets because they're lonely, and yes, I think I am quite lonely right now.

Haven't found the urge to blog in a long time... Still don't really have the urge, but I find myself somewhat obligated as a blog-owner to do it at least twice a month.



Hope you had a happy Valentine's Day.

Things you should know about my current life:

1. I really feel like going for a haircut.
2. I think Nomogram is a funny word.
3. In the wee hours of the morning, I heard my drunk neighbour from across the street throw himself down from the 2nd floor balcony.
4. If you want to know what humans sound like on concrete, it's a bit of a "Thwuck!" sound.
5. I didn't even know that was what I heard until I saw the ambulance lights 5-10 minutes later.
6. I saw them carrying him on a stretcher into the vehicle with an oxygen mask on.
7. At least it wasn't a body bag.
8. I don't know him very well, but I really hope he's alright.
9. I need a new GC because my old one screwed up.
   
10. I am fairly disappointed that there will be no Dramafest this year; I was actually looking forward to acting.
11. I constantly worry about how I will cope with common tests, prelims and then A Levels.
12. I wonder if I should attempt to improve my English by making use of multitudinous polysyllabic words every time I write an entry.
13. I bought my brother a wallet for his birthday.
14. My hair takes on the very endearing qualities of straw.
15. Living in this society constantly reminds me that if I put on weight, I'd probably be tried in my own personal court of hell.
    
16. So I put up with nonsense like running 6 rounds around the track.
17. I think I sprained my right hand.
18. I wonder if it costs money to adopt a rabbit.