Disclaimer: This entry will probably annoy some people.

I'm going to post a list of all the topics/texts I have to study for for the upcoming Common Tests. On second thought, this post is probably going to annoy me as well.

[Edit: 26/06 with topics studied for. Assuming doing the revision package etc. can be considered studying.]

Physics

1. Physical Quantities and Units
2. Errors and Uncertainties
3. Kinematics (Linear and Non-Linear)
4. Dynamics (1 and 2)
5. Forces
6. Work, Energy, Power
7. Circular Motion
8. Oscillations
   
9. Waves
10. Current of Electricity
11. Direct Current
    
12. Superposition (Stationary Waves, Diffraction and Interference)
13. Thermodynamics
    
14. Gravitational Fields
15. Electric Fields (Uniform and Non-Uniform)
16. Electromagnetism
17. Electromagnetic Induction
18. Alternating Current
19. Quantum Physics (1 and 2)
20. Lasers and Semi-Conductors
21. Nuclear Physics
    

Chemistry

1. Mole Concept
2. Electronic Structure
   
3. Chemical Bonding
4. Volumetric Analysis
5. Redox Reactions
6. Gases
7. Chemical Energetics
8. Reaction Kinetics
   
9. Entropy
10. Chemical Equilibrium
11. Acid-Base Equilibrium
12. Solubility
13. Organic Chemistry (Alkanes, Alkenes, Arenes, Halogen Derivatives, Hydroxyl Compounds - Alcohols and Phenol, Acidicity of Hydroxyl Compounds, Carbonyl Compounds, Carboxylic Acids and Nitrogen Compounds)
    
14. Electrochemistry

Mathematics

1. Integration Techniques and Applications
2. Differential Equations
3. Maclaurin's Series
4. Permutations and Combinations
5. Probability
   
6. Vectors (Lines and Planes)
7. Complex Numbers (Algebraic Representation and Loci)
8. Binomial and Poisson Distribution
9. Normal Distribution
10. Sampling Theory

Literature

1. Revise Wilfred Owen's poems
2. Revise Murder in the Cathedral
3. Revise Great Expectations
4. Get to know Duchess of Malfi
5. (H3) Finish reading all books!
6. (H3) Find information on Foucault's works!
7. (H3) Begin essay?

And that's the end of it, since there's nothing solid to do for GP, besides read those extra notes that cost approximately $6 in total.

If you've gotten this far, and actually browsed through the list, do you still wonder as to why I feel most stressed over Physics? The bane-of-my-life subject.

I probably would not mind very much if an asteroid fell from the sky and squashed me beneath it right this very instant.

I left my head at home today,
Sitting on kitchen corningware,
Beside peanut butter jelly
Sandwiches made for a trip school.

I forgot where I left it.
My helper must have stashed it -
Down some deep, dark, dreary place
Or perhaps beside the ham.

Will you help me find it?
Please do!

Preserve the appendage
Chill it in an ice box
Lest the brain juice flows a
Mile away, leaving me bare.

Label it, name it:
Rach's head-in-a-box.
Pray I will find it;
My body without.

This day my muse
Asked me how long
Body could do
Without it's guide.

I answered:
"Not so long.
Hardly long.

I think
With it."

Shhhh...

Now


Sleep.

It suddenly hit me today, in the likes of an epiphany, that we're all (every single one of us) running out of time.

This could apply to all those of us taking the A levels this year, but I'm not specifically referring to that. I feel as if, from the day we were born, clocks and watches somewhere out there, digital and analogue alike, started ticking down to these specific moments that make our lives.

Some events are concrete, even predictable to some small extent. Like death, like separation. We all know we're going to die, and much as some of us would like to deny it, we know that our loved ones are going to perish too. And there's your clock. It's ticking down, second by second, x 365 x 24 x 60 x 60, to their deaths.

The solid web, firm cocoon that envelopes us now, will wholly dissolve when the clocks stops ticking. Each layer will shrivel, dry and crumble, or come peeling off like onion-skin, until there's nothing left, until there is only one clock left, tripping towards our end. By then, if we're the last one standing, we'd be so raw with cold, burned so shapeless by the wind that we would wish for nothing more than to hear the last, resounding tick. To hear the bell that tolls for us.

What if life was like a long multiple choice exercise, where everything was already written and determined, but we had a choice insofar as whether we choose to do it or not? Where each of us walked down our individual paths until we reached a fork in the road. The choice is simple, don't you think? Left or right. But think about the millions and millions of endings that could result. If you took the one on the left, the next fork ahead would not be the same as if you took the one on the right. You only get one chance to make that choice.

More often than not, I walk back to the gate, screaming and kicking while stamping my foot, hoping that by some absolute miracle, it will open again and I could walk back and take the other route. Sometimes I run forward, thinking that perhaps if I run fast enough, the next decision I make could be done by pure intuition - running into the gate that looks most appealing. There are choices I don't want to have to make, things I don't want to have to factor in.

Time is running down. I can feel it in my bones, in my gut. This time I want to have walked through the right door. Lord, help me. Please.

Do you think that if I held an Archbishop hostage, that God would respond to my demands?

I'm very frustrated now.

Because.

Just. BECAUSE.

"Mastering physics is similar to learning to be an F1 driver. You cannot master driving just by reading the instruction manual. The manual will only teach you the basics and the operating limits of your car. You must practise and practise hard in order to become a good and proficient driver capable of extracting the full performance limits of your car."

Taken from the 2008/2009 H2 Physics Revision Notes. What sexual undertones in the last sentence. Tsk tsk.

Woke up mid-morning (05 32 hours) with cramps. Bled lots, stuck myself in the toilet, bled more, took panadol and plopped stomach-down to read about cookies before going back to sleep at around 06 30.

I thought that perhaps I would perish of want... or liver failure.